no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
