we're blogging at a bar
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
