Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
