He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
