I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
