I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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