I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
