between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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