Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
