also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
