I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
