New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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