Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I hope mine doesn't look like that

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(512): View more from Texas

I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are

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(514): View more from Quebec

i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."

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(651): View more from Minnesota

well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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(770): View more from Georgia

Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!

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(216): View more from Ohio

He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.

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