A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
