I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
