Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
