I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize