oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
