when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
