I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
