Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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