pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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