Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
