omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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