Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
