I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
