I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
