whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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