Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
