My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
