Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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