Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize