don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
