this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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