He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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