I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
