conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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