he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
