I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
