The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
