thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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