brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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