U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Someone signed my nipple.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
