pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So many bounce houses so little time
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
