I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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