Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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