the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize