just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
