u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She tied me up with her honor cords...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
