I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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