I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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