She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
