Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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