Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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