she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
