In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
