I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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