they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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