maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
