We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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