i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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