I'm really into asian looking animals
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize