Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
