none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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