i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
