Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
