If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
